Alec Martinez leaves legacy of strength, ability to unite others

Brain tumor claims life of 3-year-old boy, who taught adults how to be brave and charmed everyone

By Kristen Forbes

The Beaverton Valley Times, Jul 30, 2009, Updated Oct 30, 2009

HAPPIER TIMES — For the Martinez family, life changed when Vananh and her son Alec were both diagnosed with cancer.

Submitted photo / Beaverton Valley Times

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Tigard’s Alexander “Alec” Bay Martinez, 3, was known for going big. From his birth (32 hours of labor, including 1 ½ hours of pushing and an emergency C-section for mom Vananh) to his height (at the age of 2, he was already towering over his 4- and 5-year-old friends; doctors predicted he would one day reach 6-foot-10), Alec was never subtle.

His wide smile, long limbs and uncontainable personality added to his reputation as a gentle giant – larger than this life.

Fittingly, the tumor in his brain was the largest his doctors had ever seen. And though he put up a bigger and greater fight than anyone could have imagined, Alec succumbed to an ependymoma brain tumor (which grew back to its original size after multiple surgeries) on July 22. He died peacefully in the arms of his mother, with family and friends at his side.

He died a child: lover of macaroni and cheese, racecars, Mickey Mouse and the outdoors. He loved going for rides, whether in his dad’s truck or in a stroller. He was a smiler, a giggler, a happy-go-lucky kid.

He died a cancer patient. The last year of his life was spent in and out of hospitals, from Doernbecher Children’s Hospital in Portland to St. Jude’s Hospital in Memphis. Feeding tubes and pain pills became part of his daily existence. Things that most take for granted – breathing, eating, talking – were impossible for him, toward the end of his life. He underwent multiple surgeries and chemotherapy.

After his death, his mother’s first order of business was to have all the medical equipment removed from the house. She wanted to remember Alec as Alec.

Alec died a son, grandson, nephew, cousin and friend. His impact spread further than his home in Tigard, further than his church in Beaverton, across the United States and beyond.

Thanks to his Caring Bridge Web site www.caringbridge.org/visit/alexandermartinez, which mother Vananh and father Stephen updated regularly, people from around the world learned of Alec’s story. And unanimously, everyone who heard the story agreed: Alec was one tough cookie.

His strength was an inherited trait

At his memorial service on Tuesday, held at the Foursquare Church in Beaverton, Alec’s godfather and uncle Chris Martinez spoke about strength, the quality he says he learned from Alec. Strength, he pointed out, is smiling through the pain. Strength is waving hands and blowing kisses at Mommy and Daddy at the doctor’s office, as the prognosis for his future is being delivered. Strength is something Alec never lacked.

Likely, this strength was inherited from his parents.

“He was so handsome and smart,” spoke his aunt Julie Tran at the memorial service. “Tall and creative like Stephen, beautiful and tough like Vananh.”

For Vananh, tough may be an understatement. Months before Alec’s struggle began, Vananh was met with a diagnosis of her own: ovarian cancer.

Alec’s uncle Duyanh Tran talked about the impact Alec had on Vananh. He never thought he’d see the day when she traded her Nordstrom bag for a diaper bag, but he says motherhood changed her.

“Last year, around this time, Vananh’s duties as a mom changed,” said Duyanh. “She was diagnosed with cancer and it changed her ability to be a mom a little bit. After several months of therapy and treatment, Alec was diagnosed with his own cancer. Vananh wiped her tears away and went onto another level as a mom. From that day on, you would never see her complaining or talking about herself. That showed me a lot about her strength.”

“Every day, I sat here and watched Stephen and Vananh fight to do the best they could for him,” said Chris. “They gave everything they have to put everything in every resource they could find to help their son. I would sit there and watch Alec, and he was fighting right there with them. He was not giving up. He was battling all the way.”

“He showed them how to be brave,” Duyanh says of Alec. “I think the greatest example of bravery I’ve seen in many years is with my brother-in-law Stephen. To have his wife be diagnosed with a disease and then also his son, to be able to stand firm in his faith and show all of us how to be strong as a father and how to be strong as a husband – he taught us all how to be a better person.”

‘He was light, sunshine, a hurricane’

Beyond his strength, Alec was known for his ability to unite people. He even brought together his parents after a five-year separation. From the people across the world who bonded over his story on the Internet to the large group of family and friends who congregated in Beaverton for his memorial service, Alec was a unifier.

To know him was to love him.

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